Our forgiveness series continues.
So you have forgiven or are thinking about forgiving the person(s) that did you dirty. (If you have yet to forgive, check out our last post on a technique you need to help speed up the forgiveness process.) Yet you think to yourself, “Dang I don’t want that person to hurt me again though. Forgiving them makes me an open target once more.”
No. This is not the case.
When you forgive what you are forgiving is not the actual person, but the negative thought form or dis-eased energy that entered your aura and body when you got hurt. It is the emotional attachment to that situation that you want to get rid of when you forgive. This is why forgiveness is more about yourself and not the other person. In a way you are forgiving yourself for letting this particular energy entire your being.
We all know stories of people who go through the same experiences together but certain people aren’t affected by it while others are. Why is this the case? This can be for a myriad of reasons — so much so it would take another blog to write. But this is the rationale as to why in terms of forgiveness it is less about the person and situation that happened and more about the negative energy that got lodged into your field when the event happened.
When you forgive, you FREE yourself. You send a message to your own being and the Universe: I am ready to move on and accept all the good that is already in my life. Furthermore you shall also be ready for all of the good is coming into your life.
When you don’t forgive, you are stopping the flow of Divine energy to send you all the blessings and good things you know you deserve. But here is the key, in order to receive these blessings you also need to bless others. It is all apart of The Law of Karma — what you do to others will come back to you. This means giving is important: giving of your time, labor, finances, well wishes, prayers and other means.
I can hear some of your saying, “Well that is how I got hurt to begin with. People took advantage of my generous giving so now I am not going to give crap!”. And I hear you! I have felt the same way. Although this is one way to handle the situation, a higher way to think about it is this: There is a thick line between forgiveness and letting people walk all over you. Just because you forgave an individual doesn’t mean you open yourself up to being a pushover. If anything it should be the opposite. You have seen the signs of how being walked over manifests, so now you are wiser and more prepared to deal with the situation if it comes up again.
So how do you forgive without being a pushover?
Forgive, then don’t be dumb. Use your common sense. You know the feeling of what hurt feels like. Don’t put yourself in the same situation for failure. For some of you this may mean you need to cut the person off from your life.
Or in cases in which this isn’t possible keep the person at a distance.
For cases in which this isn’t even possible try talking to the person about how a particular situation made you feel.
If you have already tried this technique, then start a gratitude journal about that person. Focus on the aspects about the person that you appreciate. Write at least 5 things per day about the individual that are valuable and at the end of the week, if desired share that with the person. This creates an attitude of gratitude and will begin to actually manifest as a form of forgiveness naturally. By focusing on the good parts and that which is thriving will actually reprogram your neurology and allow you to appreciate the person in a different way. From this reprogramming, the light of freedom begins to shine through.
So what is forgiveness truly about? Freedom! Live in, walk in, breath in that freedom and see how your life changes!